


Don’t Worry, I’ve Got A Plan!

by Kittygetskilled



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: :), Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Angst, Fluff, M/M, Mayhaps, Stress, Stress Relief, choose ur own adventure as well??, im tired of wring porn, uhhh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:48:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26169703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittygetskilled/pseuds/Kittygetskilled
Summary: Shuichi continuously ignores his roommate, Kokichi Ouma, as his brain slowly deteriorates from the sheer amount of coffee he’s consumed. Surprisingly, some cases can be difficult for (arguably) the best detective on the force. Ouma, coming to terms with the newfound crush on such detective, entices Shuichi to take a break. But how long can they go without cracking?
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 15
Kudos: 33





	1. Step one: fuck you and your roommates’ relationship over!

Kokichi twirled a pencil around his fingers, obviously bored. His evil organization, Dice, all had to go to work, forcing Kokichi to sadly rot away in his room. At least, that’s what he told himself. Finally putting down the pencil after dropping the poor thing, he gets up from his desk to go mess with his new roommate.

“Shu Shu! My beloved princess, oh where *have* you gone?!” Kokichi snickered at this, hoping to hear some sort of reaction from the detective. Frowning when he heard nothing, he rushed to Shuichi’s room, in the process he unfortunately slammer into the door. 

Confused at the usually open door, “in case of emergencies”, Shuichi likes to say. Kokichi gets up and rubs his red nose. He jiggled the doorknob and when it wouldn’t budge; he made the assumption that it was probably locked. 

Screaming out the fakest porn star moan, he exclaimed for Shuichi to, ahem, “take his virginity”. This didn’t get him to come out either; and not in the gay way (unfortunately).

Kokichi decided to bang on the door And scream out that there’s a fire. Finally, Shuichi came out in a huff, holding a fire extinguisher. His hair was disheveled, he had huge bags under his eyes, and a coffee stain on his wrinkled work shirt. 

“...There is no fire, is there?” 

“W-what do you mean! It’s right behind you! Ahhhh, Shu save me, please!”

Shuichi turns around to leave, but is tackled by Kokichi, falling onto the floor of his room. Getting up and looking around, Kokichi notices a plethora of coffee mugs and energy drinks. He then realizes he hadn’t seen Shuichi for the past week. At the time he hadn’t thought much of it, he usually took night shifts. 

“Shuichi. What the fuck? Is this what you’ve been doing, jerking off to porn 24/7?!” Kokichi fake gasps and grasps his chest.

“Kokichi, get out. I need to focus on this case; I don’t have time for your antics.”

“Awwww, that’s so kind of you, but I think I’ll decline.” Kokichi says in a high pitched voice, obviously mimicking a stereotypical girl.

“Kokichi, I swear to god, get the fuck out. Do you want to be the reason I loose my job?” Shuichi lashes out, abnormal for the usually kind and shy detective. Kokichi flinches and digs the grave of their friendship even deeper.

“Aw, boo-hoo! At least I’m not a fucking loser who can’t socialize with other human fucking beings!” Kokichi storms out and hears the door slam behind him.

His ears stung from the short- but painful nonetheless- words the two spat out. What was he supposed to do now?

A. Get out of there and spend some time walking around a mall.

B. Retaliate by piling garbage by Shuichi’s door.

C. Invite Miu or Rantaro over.


	2. Step 2: Pity yourself in a department store.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi has decided to:
> 
> A. Get out of there and walk around a mall.

Kokichi slipped on his sneakers, put on his coat, and walked outside, making sure to lock the door behind him. It was freezing outside; it being the middle of winter. Kokichi wished he was playing tag or throwing snowballs at Shuichi instead of ignoring him. He shimmied down the steps and onto the sidewalk; deciding to take the scenic route to the mall.

“Jesus Christ,” Kokichi exclaimed at the wind blowing in his face as he approached the mall. 

He finally made it inside the air conditioned building; thanking whoever made ACs. He strolled around leisurely, sometimes going into different stores.

He walked inside of a Victoria’s Secret, giggling at the racks of bras and underwear. He went up to the counter and greeted Piggy, a member of his group.

“Can I get one woman to go, please?” He asked as he batted his eyelashes.

“I think you’re looking for a whore house,” Piggy replied. Her real name is Shiho, but went as Piggy because of her pigtails, and the sheer amount of food she can shovel down her throat. 

“Pigs, c’mooooonnn, when does your shift get off?” Kokichi flailed his arms around and eventually spilled on the counter. Several customers behind him complained, wondering why he was even at the purchasing counter.

Piggy shoved him off, “next in line, please.” 

Kokichi huffed and walked out, continuing to browse the stores. He saw a bookstore and decided to go in; maybe he could get a gift for Shuichi to make it up to him?

He quickly came over to the mystery section, he knew this was Shuichi’s favorite section because when they first met he was purchasing a large stack of mystery novels. He made himself remember every single novel Shuichi owned, so that he wouldn’t buy the same book.

He picked up “The Crystal Caper” and knew instantly that Shuichi would love it. Almost sprinting to the checkout counter; he purchased the book, also choosing the option to wrap it.

With a dazzling bow, and shiny wrapping paper, the book was absolutely perfect. He made sure to get the bow and wrapping paper in blue, Shuichi’s favorite color. Kokichi thought he was a bit of a basic bitch, but then remembered his own favorite is purple.

He put the book in his backpack and continued to browse the different stores. He came across a stationary store and walked in, deciding he would also write a note to go with it. He picked up a blank card and pen, payed, and headed out to a seating area. 

He sat down on a chair and started writing.

Dearest Shu,

XD sorry that ur being a jerk lol.  
got this at a store and it reminded me of a dumpster fire, which reminded me of you!! 😊 fuck off idiot <3

-Koki 

He sighed and put the card in the envelope, then put it in his backpack as well. He got a giant cookie cake on his way out because: why the hell not?

He got home and threw his backpack on the table, but gently put the cookie thing down.

He suddenly became aware of his surroundings and noticed a pair of eyes on him. Peeking over, praying to god that it wasn’t Shuichi, fortunately, it seems someone was looking out for his ass because it was Kaede.

“Did you finish sucking his dick, ‘cause you look like shit.”

“Kokichi, shut the fuck up.”

Stunned by the bite Kaede just threw out, he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Y’know what? Go tell your stupid little bitchy boyfriend that he can go fuck himself! Fuck you too, idiot! I hope you burn in a scalding fucking fire!” Kokichi pulled the card and present out of his backpack and threw it at Kaede, hitting her in the chest. He pointed his middle finger up at Kaede, and turned to leave with his things.

“Lock the door when I leave. I sure as hell am not coming back to this hellhole.” Kokichi finally spit out. He walked out and slammed the door. 

Kaede was, shocked, to say the least. She had pulled 2 all-nighters practicing piano for a concert, and accidentally snapped at Kokichi. She picked up the things he threw at her, and his keys. She went over to Shuichi’s door and knocked softly, still horrified at what she just did.

“Kaede, was that Kokichi? What happened? Is he being an annoyance again?”

Shuichi looked at her hands and pieced together what happened. 

“Shuichi, you might need to find a new roommate...”

She handed him the stuff and looked at him for some direction in what to do. Sadly, he looked puzzled too.

Shuichi’s actions or,

A. Chase after Kokichi.

B. Open the present and card.

C. Shut the door in her face.

Cut to Kokichi’s actions

D. Run away and find Piggy again.

E. Go to a park and eat the cookie cake

F. Find another roommate and/or apartment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao Crystal Caper is a name I made up plz don’t sue me


	3. Step 3: Engulf A Cookie Cake and Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi:  
> E. Find a park and eat the cookie cake
> 
> Shuichi:  
> B. Open the present and card  
> 🤠🤠

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi holy shit fuck lol I’m not doing great
> 
> Also,, happy birthday to meeee!!! Well, it was a few days ago but I want more happy birthdays 😡😡

Kokichi stumbled across wooden chips and onto a squeaky swing. He pulled the cookie cake out of his bag, and shoved his face into it; while sobbing hysterically.

Why was he even sad? They were the jerks, not him. Sure, maybe Kaede looked like she spent all night comforting Shuichi; and she probably didn’t mean to say that to him, but it isn’t his fault. Shuichi was just being a little bitch, nope, not his fault at all, Shuichi should just grow thicker skin.

He sighed and pulled out his phone, about to call Miu, then he saw it.

ThePianoMan:  
1:32 AM Kokichi, I’m really sorry, please come back so we can talk about this?

1:37 AM Shuichi opened up your present, he’s really frustrated with himself. Come back and let’s talk?

He probably shouldn’t have responded. He probably should’ve just ignored her and went back to stuffing his face with cookie cake. But, to hell with it apparently.

Kokichi pulled up the keyboard and started typing.

Panta_Lord is typing...

Panta_Lord:  
2:01 AM fuck off kaydey  
2:01 AM go suck ur boyfrens dik  
2:04 AM and tell him to fuck himself  
2:05 AM if he wants to talk he shouldve messaged me

Panta_Lord has now blocked ThePianoMan and StressedDeredere.

Panta_Lord has logged off.

.•*•.

12:37 AM

Shuichi pressed his lips together, trying to figure out what to do. Unfortunately, he was running on no hours of sleep and a shit ton of energy drinks. First he considered slapping Kaede, assuming she had something to do with this, then he realized how fucked up that was. He finally decided on sitting down and putting his hands on his face.

Shuichi also decided on, because why the hell not, to open Kokichi’s present. He already knew it was book, from the size of the object. He daintily opened the package, and saw the cover instantly. He didn’t notice he was crying until he heard the soft _pitter patter_ on the cover. 

He then opened the letter, and as soon as he finished it, his face contorted to one of grief. His body wracked out sobs along with it. How could he be this dumb? He thought to himself. 

.•*•.

Kokichi wondered why he was so upset; it was just his dumb roommate, why would Kokichi of all people care what he thought? Pondering this more, it clicked into place. He had a crush on Shuichi Saihara.

A. Go back to the apartment.

B. Go to a coffee shop and text Shuichi to meet there.

C. Continue to devour the cookie cake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was kinda filler,, but I want you guys to tell me what you think! I also really appreciate constructive criticism!
> 
> Big shit will probably happen next time; I’m just way too tired to actually write this out lol


End file.
